Terrible Questions To Ask When Experiencing A Life Challenge
If you don't make it a point to learn better questions to ask yourself especially when you're “in a fix”, you're going to continue to get “crap” answers.
I'm sure you've heard of the well used phrase “Ask and you shall receive” yes? Well, ask low quality questions and get low quality answers. It turns out, there's more science to that and how it works, than I would've figured.
To begin with, let's begin by highlighting what low quality and useless questions sound like shall we?
Be honest. What happens when you find yourself in an undesirable, uncomfortable or even stressful situation? What runs through your mind and more specifically what kind of questions do you ask yourself?
Most people find it hard to stop the endless barrage of negative thoughts and dis-empowering questions like, “Why is this happening to me?”, “How could he/she do that to me?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, etc. Those are really low quality questions that are not going to help your brain come up with great solutions.
I too have been guilty of asking low quality questions like those in the past. That's why you and I both know, all they do is keep us in the “fix” or “rut” we're already in. Isn't that true?
Where You Focus, Energy Flows
The more you ask yourself questions like those above, the more you're placing your focus and energy on the very thing that's causing you stress. And, if you keep placing your focus in that direction, you'll just get more of the thing that's causing you stress!
When you ask yourself a question, your brain's job is to find an answer for that question. It won't stop until it gives you some sort of answer. If it can't find a good answer to give you, it will do whatever it has to do to help you make sense of it all.
Let me give you an example.
If your brain can't find you a good answer for the question “why is this happening to me?”, it will literally help you attract another situation similar to the first one, just so you can experience it once again and try to make sense of it again. That's one of the biggest reasons why people tend to have a repeat of situations and experiences they don't want more of. Crazy right?
There's a whole lot more about the Power of Language that causes our brain to go in the direction of the questions we ask. I wrote a post on the Power of Language which dives more into that.
So, what do you need so that, in the midst of your life challenges, you'll be able to maintain emotional mastery and find better solutions?
Improve The Quality Of Questions To Ask Yourself
You must train yourself to stop asking those disempowering, useless questions like, “why is this happening to me?” etc.
And, you must train yourself to immediately ask better quality questions. The questions to ask yourself must be designed in ways where your brain can actually give you better answers and solutions.
It's training. It's practice. And, it's all about repetition. Look at your ability to ask great quality questions as a “muscle”. The only way to strengthen the muscle is to use it over and over again.
When you experience a life challenge, the first priority you have is to get into a more productive and empowering emotional state. You're not going to be effective at all in finding solutions or getting better results if you're feeling down, angry, sad, etc.
No matter how challenging it may seem at any moment, you must begin asking better questions.
Great Quality Questions To Ask Yourself
Here are a few questions that will help you get into a better emotional state, and help you brain come up with better answers:
- If there was something great about this I can't see yet, what would it be?
- What's great about this?
- What opportunities exist here and now, that would not exist if I were not experiencing this?
- If there was a gift in this for me, inside this non-attractive packaging, what would that gift be?
- How can I use this experience to learn and grow even more?
- Once I find a solution for this, how much more would I be able to achieve in every other area of my life?
- What do I already have right now that I can be grateful for?
- If I could fast forward my life to 20 years from now and look back at this challenging situation, what would I tell myself about how this challenge was a vital ingredient in helping me achieve the success I've achieved?
Of all those great questions I shared with you, the simplest and most powerful one for me is the last one – “What can I be grateful for now?“
Getting into the focus and emotional state of gratitude for what you have is without a doubt, the quickest and most powerful way to get out of any other disempowering emotion.
All suffering comes from some sort of belief of loss or lack of something. When you shift your focus to gratitude, you basically get your focus back into abundance. In a state of abundance, a lot more is possible.
Tony Robbins – Better Questions To Ask
Take those great questions I gave you above and begin using them immediately, anytime you find yourself in a challenge or facing a problem.
You could also come up with a bigger list of great quality questions to ask yourself. The more great quality questions you have in your tool box, the quicker your brain will shift into solution finding mode. As a result, you'll get out of the fix you're in and begin getter better results quicker!